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by Patrick Hercus
As a rule we are incredibly hard on ourselves when it comes to not succeeding.
we try harder, put in more hours, go on more dates
we learn more, take courses, talk to friends, get help
we numb out or shut off our feelings, sometimes it is too much or the immensity gets in the way of liv ing life
we get overwhelmed and then either get back in the game or just quit entirely
we justify the reality or blame someone or some thing else
we give up and go in a different direction
I know I have done all of the above or a combination at some point in my life, I’m sure you have as well.
Sometimes it is about leaving, sometimes it is about learning more, sometimes it is about staying and learning more through a different lens. After all, most of what we keep trying to improve at doesn’t work without realizing this is what we need to do.
A Pivotal Moment
We all have moments in our lives that are pivotal. We may not recognize them and their significance at the time, but they usually have a life-long effect.
One of these moments happened in my early twenties. I was having a discussion with the professor of a course on small business management. The conversation was broken up into three parts.
What I know
If I know how to audit a company or style hair or swim, all of this is fairly obvious. There is a possible catch. I can become sedate in thinking that I know enough or everything, and as we know circumstances change quickly. How often do you hear stories of a person being let go because they are out of date, or their partner leaves them and they never saw it coming?
What I don’t know
When I know what I don’t know, I can find out what that missing skill or knowledge is. We can take specific training, courses, talk to colleagues, or connect with a coach or mentor. When a person acknowledges that they don’t know something, it can be a very powerful place to stand if it is done from a place of strength. However if it comes from a place of shame, hiding, or hurt, the outcome usually isn’t good.
What I don’t know that I don’t know
This is an incredibly important part of success. What I don’t even know that I don’t know, I don’t even have the concept or starting point to know what I need to learn or how to achieve that. If I don’t know something exists how can I plan for it, harness it or even avoid it until after the fact?
A Real Life Example
Let’s look at an example, a real life situation with the names changed.
Brian is the owner of a company that imports products and distributes them through his independent sales reps into retail stores. For the last 5 years, he has been trying to break 2 million dollars in yearly sales. Previous attempts had come close, ranging from 1.5 to 1.7 million. He had tried everything possible, including working with various consultants. Some of the implementations were upgrading computer systems, sales training, and increasing product lines. His first words to me were “I’m ready to give up, I’ve tried everything and nothing is getting us into the next level of profit”. From his perspective he had tried everything, at least from the place of knowing what he did not know and being open to gaining knowledge. Over a few sessions, we looked at his business and realized that he was so overwhelmed and over worked that subconsciously Brian was pushing away business. Some people might say that he was overtly sabotaging his future, however that isn’t what was happening. Brian had a belief system similar to so many of us that stated that “the more I work, the more success I will have”. This was the invisible wall he kept hitting, what he didn’t know that he didn’t know. The truth is that any person has a built in survival mechanism that will keep us from burning out if we listen, but the problem is how our culture and work environment pushes us past the point of listening.
The fix was fairly simple. Instead of more success equals more work, causing more stress and burnout, we changed that belief system to one where more success equals more money and more people he could delegate to. Within 4 months, he broke 2 million dollars in volume.
In an ever changing, fast paced, frenetic world, those who succeed have the ability to learn what they don’t know that they don’t know. This edge puts them ahead of the others who are trying to get better at the old formulas. Let’s be real, if we are not evolving ahead of the rest we are falling behind. What is it that you are not seeing that you are not seeing? A hint is to look at patterns in your life that are not getting you what you want.
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“Why don’t I have what I want in my life?”
For most of us this can be a very painful place to be. Wanting something and not being able to experience the sense of fulfillment, love or success in living what we desire, it’s not only frustrating but downright demotivating at times.
As a society we are trained to work harder and or smarter and sooner or later “it” will happen.
How often do you try to find another way around, under, over or through a challenge? How often do you get frustrated because you know what you want, you just can’t get there?
Here’s the key point, maybe we only have one part of the formula. I believe the missing link is “consciousness”.
What is your awareness if you don’t have what you want?
To your Success,
As promised here is three of four, this week we are taking a look at consciousness. A very mysterious and misunderstood word for most people.
Consciousness is simply the sum of a persons thoughts, actions and experiences throughout their history. This “sum” dictates what is in our lives and the quality of our experience.
We have a lot more power in changing our “vibration” then we think. If a bad breakup happens, most times we focus on what didn’t go well and hold on to the story thus creating a lot of pain.
Who are we really hurting? It’s not the person we are no longer with!
Here is an exercise, work on appreciating what was wonderful during the old relationship and then make sure that this is added to “your learn” rather than the “never do that again” category.
Try this in any situation, and let me know how it has worked
Last week we focused on Spiritual, and in this discussion I would like to focus on the emotional part of manifesting. A simple way to measure a person’s emotional health is how long it takes to come back into balance after an event happens, of course this will vary based on the intensity of what you have experienced.
Let’s be real if you have a really nasty breakup after a long term relationship, it’s going to take longer to get over than a one month connection. The more balanced you are, the quicker and easier the movement forward.
Here is the tie into manifesting, if I’m still hurt or not at peace about a past event it will dramatically affect not only my ability to have a new person show up, but the person that shows up, could potentially reflect my hurt instead of what I want.
I wonder if that is one of the reasons why rebound relationships seldom work?
More next week, let me know what you think
Today I’d like to look at “Spiritual” the first of the four areas from last week. Spiritual for me is the soul or essence of who I am. It’s the part of me that holds the highest information as to who I am, what my truth is, as well as what I am here to do and who I am to become.
I wonder if “the still inner voice” is really my soul trying to communicate with me? What do you think?
Spiritual is also something much greater, the essence of nature, people, God (whatever word you are comfortable with) and the universe.
It seems to make sense that the degree I am connected “or one” would reflect my level of spiritual growth.
Let me know what you think?
There is a lot of confusion around spiritual, emotional, consciousness and manifesting. What they are, how they work and even more so, how can I change my life by working in each area? All 4 areas are separate and yet they usually affect each other. This is a very important delineation.
Let’s use the example of a rich unethical stockbroker. He/she will probably have a very low level of spiritual, emotional and overall consciousness, however; they will have a high level of financial manifesting consciousness.
The example I gave last week could be the exact opposite. The person couldn’t pay their rent, which reflects a low level of financial manifesting consciousness, however; they had a fairly high spiritual and emotional consciousness. They could be at peace and totally fulfilled couch surfing, maybe not.
Which one of the four areas would you choose to grow in?
Have a great week
Throughout time people have always had a challenge getting the spiritual work or changes in consciousness they achieve to make a difference in their lives. It is not unusual for me to work with a person that has done a lot of emotional/spiritual work and they can’t pay their rent. That’s because increasing your consciousness or spiritual work and manifesting are two completely different skills.
Seeing them as separate is the first step in having them work together.
More on this next week.
How has your week gone, did you have a chance to look at how “consciousness” might be getting in the way of fully living your life?
One of the many interesting things I’ve learned about spiritual consciousness is this — If you put something into the brain, a statement and especially a question, if it reflects a truth in you, subconsciously your whole system will start to churn away on it.
I guess part of the reason I’m saying this is to not sound like a schoolteacher “did you do your homework”. It is generally true however, the more attention and exploration one puts on something the faster the result will be experienced.
Attracting and having an amazing soul relationship is also about letting the subconscious spiritual consciousness churn away on something and then letting the information and the realizations surface.
Till next time Patrick
Chemistry and Consciousness,
A common definition of chemistry would be “an experience that comes through the senses that is appealing to the individual.” Some of these senses could be visual, auditory, emotional and or kinaesthetic.
So what does consciousness have to do with chemistry? A whole lot actually!
Consciousness is the sum of a person’s thoughts, feelings, actions and experiences. In other words “the essence of who a person is in any given moment.”
Let’s look at an example, Becky and Tom have a huge amount of emotional, physical and spiritual chemistry. Becky’s last 3 relationships really hurt her and as a result she has an edge around men and is not ready to completely trust. Becky’s hurts may dominate the connection and lead to actions that she does not want or intend to create. The worst part is that it may muddy or destroy the attraction and hide the potential, all of this can happen in a way that is totally unconscious. The Becky and Tom example is relevant on a first date or in a long term relationship. It’s always a good thing to be aware of what is underlying our feelings and actions.
This week I invite you to look at how your “consciousness” might be getting in the way of what you want.
Till next time Patrick