Welcome to Relationship Wednesdays. The topic today is selfish or selfless? The definition of selfless is you just do things, and you have no attachment, no expected outcome, you give of yourself, and there’s absolutely zero agenda. That’s the usual definition. Selfish is, it’s all about me and what I can get from it. That’s the usual definition there as well. I’m going to throw things up in the air here, and create a little bit of a controversy. I believe that every single thing we do, we’re selfish. It might come across as being selfless but here we go. If come at this from a three-points, and I’ll use giving as an example. Actually let’s back that up a little bit.
If I’m employing someone, that’s very much a selfish situation. If I’m the employee, I’m doing this and I expect that back. If I’m the employer, I’m paying you and I’m expecting this level of something done. It’s a very one to one simple relationship. That’s a selfish experience. I’m doing, I’m getting. Employees are same thing. That’s very clear. Where it starts to get a little bit murky is if I’m walking down the street and I give to a street person. To simplify this, if I give a street person a gift certificate to a restaurant as an example, because I don’t want them to use it to buy drugs, or to do other things with the money. I want them to get some food so that they can survive and feel a little bit better. Well, there’s a feel-good in that for me because I’m giving them something. In some ways it’s a little bit selfish. But as well I’m setting a condition on it which means it’s about me. When I set a condition, I’m setting it up, even though I’m giving so it’s a higher form of being selfish, it’s a better form, it’s still selfish. Because I’m setting the conditions, I’m saying, “You have to do this with this to get this, so I can feel this way.”
The third form and this is where I’m going to test you out a little bit here, and I believe that everything is selfish. Now it’s not a bad thing but what happens with the third situation is that I just give a street person money. I have no expectations whether they spend it on drugs or whether they buy food with it. But here’s the piece. Even the most spiritual people in the world appear to be totally selfless however there is a win in it for them. Even if it’s just karma alone, it’s a feel-good. And everything in this world is based on feel-good. Human beings don’t generally do something if it feels horrible. They do it because it feels good. Even when you come from that higher place of, “I’m just going to give a street person some money or I’m going to do some prayer work with someone.” There’s going to be a feel-good. And in that point, there’s still a level of being selfish. And it’s okay, it’s part of life.
Thanks for listening and thanks for hanging in there.
Welcome to Spiritual Saturdays. I’d like every person that listens to this and every person in the world, to be honest with you to be absolutely be breathless in every moment and I don’t mean working your cardio, going to the gym, running up a mountain; that’s not at all what I mean. That feeling of being breathless when something catches you with its beauty, with its presence. When you look into somebody’s eyes, especially your partner and they take away your breath or you take away their breath or you see something beautiful like a child, a puppy, a sunset. It can be as simple as a blade of grass when you look at it, the magic that is in a blade of grass just how perfect it is with the different lines and the way that it is designed. What we do, and unfortunately with our society, we are so stressed that we skip off the surface.
Well, we’re skipping off the surface but we don’t see the beauty of what’s underneath especially if you live on the coast and its salt water, if you can imagine that. We don’t see what’s in the aquarium. We’re so busy skipping off the surface heading for something, going a million miles an hour with this road blur beside us all the time that we don’t get connected and that’s not life. Life is lived in the moment or we are on a path toward depression. Going a million miles an hour we can still do that. I’m not saying you have to slow it down. You can still go a million miles an hour but by developing the habit of being breathless, you move yourself out of that realm of business and stress because we as all know and the leading science right now is saying that stress is the leading cause of diseases; short term and long term.
What I would like you to do this week is to practice being breathless and it is a practice and it takes work. Stop for 30 seconds and see something beautiful in anything, even if it’s just the color of the paint or if it’s something that you’re standing beside or a person. Look at the color of what they’re wearing and see the beauty in it. Look at something that you don’t normally like and try to find the beauty in that. Become breathless in the moment because when you do that you start to attract a whole different situation and people and events into your life. That’s what I’d like you to do for the next few days and that’s my wish for you.
Welcome to Relationship Wednesdays. Thanks for joining because when I film videos it gives me a chance to talk about what I’m passionate about and that gives me a sense of fulfillment. Again, thanks for being here. I appreciate it.
What I’d like to talk to you about today is a sensing. Do you sense the situation? Do you sense your partner? Do you sense what’s happening? That’s really important because in our over stressed world where we’re busy, we’re overtaxed, we’re under educated in some situations, we’re just overworked, we lose sight of what’s important, and more than that we lose touch with what’s important.
Part of what I’d like to give you as an exercise to work on is feeling into things, sensing things at a deeper level, not just, oh yes, she’s smiling or sad, okay yes, my partner’s fine. Or yes, he’s happy, he’s kind of stressed, okay I should stay around from him. I just came home from work and I am stressed.
What I’d like you to do is to feel in and actually sense the situation. What is the person really experiencing? In other words, start to develop your intuition — that gut sense. What’s really happening in a situation whether you’re in a boardroom, you’re working with people, you’re out with friends, not just skipping off the surface talking about politics, what’s happening in the world, or what you’re ticked off about.
Actually start to sense and feel into it in a deeper way because when we do that we get a deeper connection with a person, which means that’s going to pay off a thousand times, especially at work, because you’re going to see things that maybe you could’ve missed before or you did miss before. You’re going to have more information and that in return makes for a far more successful life.
Welcome to Career Mondays. What I would like to talk about is worker, visionary, and manager. It’s important. The first thing I’d like to do is to set the stage for this, there is absolutely no right or wrong. If you are a worker, if you’re good at what you do, or if you’re not and you’re working on it what is important is that it’s who you are at a core level. Yes, you can work on changing it and that’s wonderful, but there is no right or wrong, and better or worse. It’s simply what works for you. Maybe I’m a worker, and somebody else is a visionary and a manager, or just a manager, we think they’re better than we are because maybe they make more money, let that go. That’s all self-imposed stuff. There’s my little rant for the moment.
Here we go on the worker thing. A worker is basically a person that plugs into it, and I’m thinking of person that worked at a very large automotive company. Great person, wonderful woman — she was basically a robot. Loved her job, it fulfilled her, she plugged in, she did her nine-to-five, she’s got her pension, she’s happy, she’s vibrant. She was a worker. She did the same thing day in and day out, different task. But she was told what to do, she was managed, and she didn’t have a vision for the company itself. She was employed and it was a good place to be. But to recognize that is really important.
The next level is a manager. Some people are born managers, other people can learn to be managers. Either way, if that’s what you feel good doing, because if you take a worker, that is a worker at the core, and that’s what they like to do, and you put them into a management position – an old study a long time ago, it is called the Peter Principle, where you take a person and you promote them past their efficiency level, and then they become miserable, and they quit, or they start to fail. I believe that’s what that test was about. As a manager, you’re good at organizing, you’re good at seeing the bigger picture, you’re good at putting pieces in the place, and running things.
The third level is a visionary. Visionaries see the image of what this is to be in a year from now, in five years from now, in 30 years from now. They get the picture, they get the image, it can feel almost like a dream, and that’s a whole lot of other videos that are run off later on. But there’s three different areas: Worker, manager, and visionary.
If you started a business and you’re a visionary, you’re probably not a good worker. You’re probably not a good manager. You can learn how to do it, but the key if you’re a visionary, and a lot of self-employed, entrepreneurial types can be visionaries, you should very quickly hire people that are good workers. Hire people that are good managers that can take your vision and implement it. If you’re a manager but you don’t vision well, then connect with somebody that is a good visionary if you’re in your own business. Or take the company’s vision and learn how to interpret it at your level.
There are a few tips today and thanks for listening.
The topic for today is “Do we really know people?” The usual response in our society is yes, I know a lot of people the answers can range from hundreds to thousands. Colleagues, customers, acquaintances, people at work and maybe I am even on a sports team. What I am asking you is different than that. Do you really know people? Do you know people who count the most? Family, relatives, people that you are really close to and how well do you actually know them?
Here are some questions for you
I would like you to ask the above questions this week so you can get to know people at a deep level, let’s see how well you really know people that are close to you.
We get so caught up in the business of life that we miss connections. It is not unusual for me to work with a couple that are not able to answer any of the four questions. It is actually fairly common.
So have fun with this and I will see you next week.
In 5 minutes a day you really can make a difference and you can dramatically change your life, going from disconnected and disengaged into a deeper sense of connection. We live in a society that is becoming more and more disengaged from others and in this environment we are also becoming more disconnected from ourselves. This affects how we show up in our careers, friendships and relationships and in the long run affects our success’s on every level. We can blame it on the internet, downsizing, job stress, or just the pace of life. These and a lot more are all factors. However what we do/respond/react is a choice we have even if we don’t we do. How we show up for the people and situations in our lives determines how our life works or doesn’t, especially the people that are the most important to us.
For more information and articles go to www.patrickhercus.com
Where does your power come from? Most people when I ask them this question give me a strange look, almost the “what planet are you from” look. The answer to this question is actually a powerful life changing understanding to have.
What is it that drives you through everyday and gets you up in the morning again and again? Is it a robotic action or is it because of the money or is it because you have to? Maybe you used to love what you did and no longer do, maybe you still do. Is is about making an impression, approval or status or maybe the right thing to do and the only thing to do.
Or is it because you have to do it to feel fulfilled, if you don’t there is this inside piece that you just have live. Are you doing it from a greater good or being of service?
Remember there is no right or wrong only an awareness of where we are and what we choose to do with life from this point forward.
Where are you? I don’t mean a geographical location, currently I am in Vancouver maybe you are in Seattle or New York. Where are you in presence, where is your head where is your heart? When you are talking to someone important is your head thinking about other things and your heart. Maybe you are worried about what the other person might say. Maybe you just had a disagreement with your partner and you are a bit defensive or are not fully present and really with them and hearing them. Or are you escaping somewhere else, maybe it’s not safe to be here. Maybe I am thinking about work or life problems.
Are you showing up, are you fully present in every moment? If you are not present a person doesn’t get a feel for who you are. What is going on in your heart are you feeling the other person? Then a person is connected that’s being more Spiritual and that’s the next level of life!
In just 5 minutes a day you can dramatically change your life, going from being disconnected and disengaged to a deeper sense of connection. We live in a society that is becoming more and more disengaged from others and in this environment we are also becoming more disconnected from ourselves. This affects how we show up in our careers, friendships and relationships and in the long run affects our success’s on every level. We can blame it on the internet, downsizing, job stress, or just the pace of life. These and a lot more are all factors, however what we do/respond/react is a choice we have even if we don’t we do. How we show up for the people and situations in our lives determines how our life works or doesn’t, especially the people that are the most important to us.
For more information and articles go to www.patrickhercus.com
by Patrick Hercus
When talking about transformation, consciousness and success in one sentence I usually receive an odd or vacant look, followed with questions like, what do you mean? or what does it have to do with success, why is it important? or what level am I ………? Here are some explanations.
Levels of Consciousness
David R. Hawkins MD., Ph.D. in his book Power vs Force has this to say; “The ways the various levels of human consciousness express themselves are profound and far-reaching; their effects are both gross and subtle. All levels below 200 are destructive of life in both the individual and society at large; all levels above 200 are constructive expressions of power. The decisive level of 200 is the fulcrum that divides the general areas of force and power”.
Personally I have noticed that I can be at 100 and later on be at 600, what is important is my average, where I hang out consistently.
Here is an experiment for you, pick an emotional state under 200 and below what your lower level is and be that for a few hours. Try this someplace of minimum importance where you are interacting and communicating.
The next part is to do the opposite, choose an emotional state above 200 and higher than what your usual level is and be that for a few hours. This time experiment anyplace you choose.
4) how do your feelings and experiences change?
There are two very important reasons for these exercises.
Why Consciousness equals Success
I always find it amazing how one “angry” person at a social gathering will affect and change the “level of consciousness” in a room. We hear this all the time that success attracts success, one part of the success puzzle is having the job/experience/education the other half is having the consciousness. Who would you rather support and follow (assuming both people have the same resume) a person who averages at 150 anger or someone who averages at 200 courage or even 350 acceptance?
Why Consciousness is Important
Cindy (not her real name) had tried everything she could, to meet “the guy”she didn’t know what she didn’t know. She met lots of men however her connections never went anywhere, a few dates maybe a year and the guy would disappear. How could an attractive, well educated, successful woman strike out endlessly in the dating game? Needless to say Cindy was becoming depressed, shameful, angry and even apathetic. The men she was meeting were actually becoming less and less committal and appealing, which began to lead to a way of thinking “that all men were ——-“. During a session we talked and she began to understand that her emotional outlook and state of mind (consciousness) had a very significant impact on the quality of men that were showing up in her life. We worked on moving her up the consciousness scale.
Cindy then understood that “competitive, stressful, intense work consciousness” needed to be very different than “dating consciousness”which need to be willingness, acceptance, joy and love. That work Cindy was very professional and becoming less appealing because of her lowered levels of consciousness. Dating Cindy needed to be more heart based and less risk adverse to use a business term. It took some work for her to actually change her consciousness, however within a couple of months she started dating men that were sincere and saw her as partner material. We are now working on how she reacts when in a committed relationship.
3 Tools for Transforming Your Consciousness
Objectively look at your situation as if you were your own coach. (friends and colleagues may be able to help, however they are usually to close to see objectively and are generally just as stuck.)
Look at what level (on average) according to Dawkins that you are trying to solve the problem from or living life at.
Devise a plan to up your level to the next highest, one level at a time you will get better results. If on average you are at a 150: anger or frustration then what changes would you need to make to be at a 175: pride? Be careful with this, try to stay out of blame and focus only on yourself.
Have fun with this article. I always find it amazing how a person’s consciousness can change by having the right information and a simple yet effective way to implement the changes.